


Greed

by Togi



Category: Figure Skating RPF
Genre: First Time, M/M, Pining, Translation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-16
Updated: 2019-04-26
Packaged: 2020-01-15 00:47:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 8,801
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18487843
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Togi/pseuds/Togi
Summary: "Listen, Shoma. I am jealous of all the titles that I could not get, although I fought for them. But I will not be jealous of you. Say you stand on the podium with a medal around your neck,  why would I need a piece of iron when you are mine?"





	1. The very beginning

**Author's Note:**

> This is not my work. It is translation from https://ficbook.net/authors/1887854.

“Come with us to Ann Arbor?” Please, let's go! It will be fun, you'll see. And let Itsuki ride with us - practice English. We have a lot of space in the house, and in the morning we will all run together. You will get acquainted with our little dog, we bring you to our favorite ice cream parlor. Please!”

Yuzuru watches out of the corner of his eye how ever active and affectionate Maya chirps. The Shibutanis are incredibly close. Looking at them, Yuzuru always gets this guilty suspicion about incest. He has to correct himself every time. These guys grew up in America, things are different there. There you can squeeze each other and grab hands even in public - this is not a shame. This is not Japan, where the boys are to the right, girls are to the left, touches are forbidden, or allowed only behind the scenes.

Shibutani is largely incomprehensible, and sometimes even annoying. But at this particular moment, Yuzurus not happy that Maya somehow attached herself to Shoma. And he is angry that Shoma, in general, doesn’t seem to mind.

“He doesn’t have a time, the national team is leaving for Japan. There will be a meeting at the airport, the silver medalist must be present,” Yuzuru says, smiling.

For Maya, there are no laws - she keeps Shomu under her elbow and trustfully looks into his face. If they were in Japan, they would have been married a long time ago. Of course, no one forbids a sex before marriage, but if the boy and the girl are not dating, then it is forbidden to touch each other. Only in a relationship. Maya and Shoma have no relationship. If there were, Yuzuru would know about it.

Shoma wouldn’t say anything, but Yuzuru would still know.

@@@

The first junior year, Yuzuru is so nervous that he barely understands - he almost goes out to the ice with covers still on. After the trainer takes his hand and reminds him to remove the covers, he absently nods and does as he should.

The program rolls back almost automatically - the national championship, but still insanely scary. He is thirteen years old, he is scared, timid and unsure of himself. His gloves are slipping from his hands because his palms are sweating. Loose gloves doesn’t help him. He couldn’t push off from the ice as expected, and when you fell from the jump, your greatest desire is to get on your feet as quickly as possible. Especially if it happens in public. To quickly forget. Drive and forget.

After program, Yuzuru leaves to change clothes, but in the middle of the corridor freezes under a watchful gaze. He turns around and looks in the crowd of those who came to cheer, gawk or shoot. Who would notice a newcomer loser who fell from a simple double salchow?

The round eyes on the tender childish face are still looking at him, and Yuzuru smiles politely in response - it seems he can do it without even understanding anything. Perhaps, if he ever got into an accident and has an amnesia, his brain would still know to smile and bow politely. This reflex, grafted over the years.

The owner of the peeping cherries has no such reflexes - the kid just looks at him, blinking with ridiculously long eyelashes, his reddish hair, unusual for Asians, glittering gold.

This is their first meeting.

@@@

Itsuki is chatting with Alex, and Yuzuru thinks that for a fifteen-year-old box this guy is very lively. Moreover, Itsuki Uno seems brave, which is also the subject of some envy for Yuzuru. Itsuki looks like a girl - perhaps prettier than most guys at his age. However, when he begins to speak, he releases his hardness outside. No wonder he plays hockey. Albeit on the grass.

Where Itsuki, there is Shoma. Just sitting next to him, listening, sometimes inserting something in Japanese. Alex Shibutani has a Japanese problem, but he understands a couple of dozen words, and within the limits of figure skating, that is enough.  
Nothing is impossible. If Shibutani invites Shoma after the Olympic hysteria or the Worlds, he may agree. Shoma happens to be in America, anyway. He goes to a jumping coach, spends weeks and even months there. Shoma can go to Ann Arbor. And he will not go to Canada.

@@@

In general, Yuzuru doesn’t remember that hypnotic view, he has no reason to. Study, trainings games, discoveries. He doesn’t have a very good relationship with his classmates, although he is a rather cheerful guy. Probably because he does not go to school clubs. His place is the rink, almost no one of his peers. He has no common interests with others, so Yuzuru rides in solitude and silence of Sendai's only year-round skating rink, thinking that he will certainly win the next junior one.

He is already fourteen, and he keeps himself perfect on the ice, performs a triple toe loop without blots, and catches balance, almost like a pro. He makes a good run for the championship, no one remembers that couple of years ago he fell at every opportunity.

The fifth skater goes out. It’s a child with puffy cheeks, at the sight of whom the whole hall falls into an abyss of tenderness, even the ice itself begins to melt. The child diligently performs the rotation. It does not hold the axis very well, but that is not so important - Yuzuru remembers himself at the same age. His coach tells him to keep track of newbies - always look for fresh blood, these are your future competitors. When you get older and go to the senior league, always look in junior. Yuzuru does not like to look at his rivals, it is a bit depressing - someone is always more agile, stronger and more graceful. Looking ends in either dishearten or envy. Both options are bad, so Yuzuru prefers to secretly look away when others ride.

But not this time. This time he is watching the boy, whose name he does not know. Every movement still childish, yet already in adult strong legs. This is a serious competitor for the future, but Yuzuru does not look at him to study a rival.

This is the same baby with cherry-eyes. Grown up, a scoundrel. And he will grow still.

@@@

At the airport, Shoma is somehow detached, and Yuzuru thinks that he is simply running from journalists who sickened him to death during the Olympic madness. Poor fellow gave an interview every day and appeared on television, although he couldn't stand it. In addition, several more times he became an object of general fun - for example, he could not fit the earpiece or climb on a chair. Shoma hates such moments, Yuzuru knows that for sure.

However, in this detachment there is something not very good, and Yuzuru, trying to drown out an anxious feeling, grabs Shoma by the hand and smiles at the camera. Keiji Tanaka joins them and saves the situation by diluting their medal duet, so everyone is happy. Yuzuru shakes Shoma’s palm, subconsciously looking for signs of discontent — if Uno had shown at least one movement in his still red eyes that he was unpleasant, Yuzuru could calm down and say to himself: “OK.”

But Shoma doesn’t seem to notice - smiles absently, obediently and complacently allowing the touch when Yuzuru embraces him, again for a photo. And through the blown jacket you can’t feel how the heart of this little samurai is behaving.

@@@

As for Yuzuru, farewell competition, for Shoma, a discovery. At the national championship, the last for Yuzuru in the junior league, Shoma performs brilliantly - takes the third step of the podium. Yuzuru stands on the top, and the difference in height between them is simply comic - Uno is barely above his belt, and the low rung for the bronze only increases the gap. Yuzuru congratulates him on his personal victory, shakes his hand and regretfully leaves the room. It will be a long while before they could reunite on the podium.

He leaves, keeping in his palm the touch of a child’s soft hands.

Shoma-kun will definitely appear in the senior league in a few years.

@@@

The press conference is very successful, no gimmick, everything is fine. In their native land they speak in a completely different way, they do not try to censor a word. All somehow relax immediately. A take away, so they can eat a little bit. After eating his steak, Shoma crawls into a corner and goes to sleep. Yuzuru covers him with a red uniform jacket and smiles. Need to appreciate every moment.

Javier leaves first, after a few years, it’s the turn of Yuzuru himself, perhaps he will not make it to the games in Beijing. While he and Shoma walk along the same floor and descend on one ice, they must use every moment.

Shoma opens his eyes and spreads out his hand, rubbing his forehead.

“Something hot,” he says sleepily. - Who covered me?

Yuzuru is silent and pretends not to hear. Leaving a question unanswered is rude, so Satoko, the only girl in the room, turns and says softly:

\- I do not know. Whose jacket is this?

Shoma's jacket is lying in the chair. Yuzuru shuts his eyes in annoyance. Way to screw up. He could have gotten Shoma’s jacket. But no, he had to pull his off.

“Yuzu-kun, thank you,” Shoma mumbles. - Take the jacket, or you will freeze.

@@@

In the senior league, Yuzuru does not shoot up. Mistakes begin in the most unexpected places again. One day he sits down from a spin, another time he stumbles over his own legs during step sequence, almost kissing the ice in front of a surprised public. He is told that he is not enough to succeed Takahashi-san, that he needs train harder. Yuzuru pulls on the legs and with them pulls all the veins out of himself, but not a damn thing works out.

At times he is distracted by the kids - he still looks at the juniors, noticing who will breathe into his already fragile nape the next. Uno Shoma. That's who. Yuzuru sits in front of the TV and watches regional performances of the little ones. Shoma stands out like a little prince - not from the tale of that legendary flyer, but simply. Little Prince.

Yuzuru envies these strong knees and beautiful lower back deflection. In the near future this child will grow up, his bones will fill out, and muscles will grow. It will be beautiful - it will look great on ice.

Turning off the TV immediately after Shoma’s performance, and even without hearing the scores, Yuzuru goes to the mirror and takes off her shirt. Looks at his ribs, unformed waist and angular shoulders. Twirling, turning around to see the back.

Shoma will look like a man in miniature. One courageous sample already exists, which means you need to present something of your own. You need to create a special image. Yuzuru looks at himself and thinks, thinks, thinks.

@@@

They are not allowed to go home, and Shoma is clearly nervous. Shoma would love to go to the rink right away, skates on his feet and a bottle of mineral water at the rim. Not a microphone shoved in his hands, forcing a smile under the camera. Yuzuru thinks he may not be going to the Worlds, which will take place very, very soon. It would be fairer for him to remain in front of the public now, let Shoma go to train. Uno is not injured, no one will let him leave, but he needs to get ready. However, the federation somehow ambiguously responds to all the hints that it is better to send the silver medalist to Nagoya - Shoma will have to bear till the end.

They are going everywhere, so no one can remember where they sleep and what they eat. At some point, Keiji and all other non-medalists are leaving for homes and hotels, but they remain. Now it is just two of them. Shoma is no longer living with Keiji, now they share a room. This is the only silver lining. 

@@@

Yuzuru changes a coach — Orser. Many in his age work with renowned educators and choreographers, so why shouldn't he do that? Mom says figure skating can always be left, but Yuzuru wants to fight to the end. He does not know anything except how to skate, he does not see another future for himself. Knowing perfectly well the whole cuisine of this world - the harsh truth about injuries, about the pressure of his native federation, about dirty rivalry and scandals, he still doesn’t want to give up.

In figure skating, he feels alive, and wants to take the maximum out of this life. At the competition, he is experiencing a surge of energy and adrenaline, almost like a drug addiction, he is already used to it. He has become so accustomed that in the summer season he does not know what to do. This is fate, this is the path to follow. No other type of work will bring him as much pleasure and different sensations.

Anyway, why should he leave when there is so much left unfinished? He doesn’t like looking at Shomu through the TV screen, he wants to see it live. But the bastard goes to juniors until the last and doesn’t even think to get out - refuses when he is invited to a TV show with adults, keeps silent when he finally does.

@@@

“Hey, don't sleep,” grabbing Shomu by the knee and swinging him, whispers to Yuzuru. - I understand, you are tired, but be patient a little more. Just a couple of days, and you will be released. You will see.

Shoma blinks and rubs his eyes sleepily. Baby child, wonderful boy, very cute. Childhood cheeks are gone, but, in general, it does not matter.

“God, how did Mao-chan endure all this,” sighs Shoma. - I can not imagine how she got after Vancouver. Wild horror.

\- Have you watched the Vancouver? - asks Yuzuru.

\- Yes of course. I will not say that I was rooting for her - I already knew that she was the best. But I waited.

\- What were you waiting for? - surprised Yuzuru, sliding closer.  
\- Her return. But she arrived much later than I thought. I was still small then, I thought that after the closing ceremony, Mao-chan would immediately come home, and she returned only after two weeks. 

Yuzuru feels something unpleasant inside. Vancouver was eight years ago, and Shoma only talks about there. Sochi is his business - Yuzuru’s first champion title was won only four years ago, and Shoma doesn’t even mention this. Doesn’t ask whether it was as hard or not. Although Mao-chan is far away, and he, Yuzuru, is close.  
I am right here, reach out and touch.

You don’t need to reach, even. Yuzuru is sitting, still holding his hand on his knee.

@@@

Cricket Club - Orser team, in which a lot of people work. Choreographers, ice specialists, technologists, physiotherapists, dancers and trainers. This private skating rink is always full of people, but most Yuzuru gets used to is Javier Fernandez. At first, they only communicate when necessary, as Yuzuru’s vocabulary is limited to skating terms, but over time the vocabulary begins to grow, so does his chat with Javier.

For the first time in many years, Yuzuru has a friend. And then a little more than just a friend.

@@@

Manager hides them in the far corner, advising to sit quiet and not to stick out - there is still half an hour before the conference, they can take a nap if they want to. Shoma immediately follows the advice, covering his head and settling in a chair. Yuzuru also shuts himself from everyone, but he is not in a hurry to sleep. He opts to look into space, clasping hands and twisting fingers.

Javier will retire. He was always like that - he decided and did. No delays, no warning. He informed Yuzuru about leaving only during Shoma’s free. Already at the Olympics, when no one could ruin anything. And Yuzuru burst into tears - roaring like a little child or a spoiled princess. It is a shame to remember that he was not there for Shoma's free. When you find out your best friend is leaving, there is no piece of mind to observe others. He did not even know that Shoma fell from the first jump, got up and skated the rest as if on fire. He would have been proud of his little kohai, but no - he did not even think about Shoma at all.

Hence the doubts. Are Yuzuru’s feelings real? Or was he just fooling himself?  
Tender friendship spanning years, touches and hugs, soft cheeks under the fingers, an embarrassed look under the eyelashes. Was the heartbeat all true, or was he just imagining something to himself? Maybe Yuzuru just needed someone to pine over, and lured by Shoma's face.

Shoma, meanwhile, is sleeping soundly, sliding down the seat — the jacket pulls up, revealing the thigh. Yuzuru gently straightens the hem of the jacket, touching the warm leg through thick winter pants. His skin tingles, thousand needles pricking — a whole scattering of shots. He holds his palm on Shoma's thigh and sighs. Shoma opens his eyes and looks up at him, not looking at him at all.

Heartbeat slows down. Damn, now Uno understood everything.  
And no, all these years ... nothing was false.

@@@

Javier teaches Yuzuru to love life. For the 2013-2014 season Yuzuru chose an erotic short program, they pick up a beautiful suit with a blue shirt. He regularly performs everything and technically pulls on hundred and fifty percent, but there is clearly not enough sex appeal to present. If he tries to do something, it looks like a simple grimacing.

Fernandez openly laughs at such attempts, which is why Yuzuru wants to run his skates on his furry head. But of course he doesn’t do that.

\- Have you ever been with a woman? - approaching him after the next run, Javier asks sneakily.

\- And what does it matter? - mutters Yuzuru.

\- Great. You do not know how to fuck, and you are trying to give sexual energy. Even if you watch porn all day, you can not learn anything. Practice is important here.

“You should practice yourself,” throws Yuzuru, rising from the bench and tapping his toes on the floor to fix the covers.

\- Oh I practice. I have no problems with it.

\- What a fine fellow.

\- Stop the sarcasm, and try.

\- I have no time for this. It takes a lot of strength.

\- And how do you know if you have never tried?

Yuzuru sighs:

\- I still know how to read.

Javier throws back his head and laughs so loud that it echoes under the cold arch of the rink.

\- I will help you, then. It is for educational purpose only, nothing personal.

Yuzuru doesn’t believe him a bit, so he doesn’t really think about it. He doesn’t take these words seriously. However, in the shower, after a seven-hour workout, Javier keeps his promise. At first, it is embarrassing, and then it becomes nice.

It's already dark outside the window, probably cold. There are only two in the shower room of the Cricket Club, designed for ten people, and it is very warm for them. Yuzuru understands the meaning of the words “to melt in other people's hands,”. The water that had already begun to cool does not seem cold. It does not hurt at all, because Javier knows what he is doing.

The lessons continue indefinitely, and now not only in the shower. Wherever possible. Hiding his temperament under a thick layer of self-control, Yuzuru only inflamed himself more, and it was Javier who got all that out. He definitely knows what to do with such wealth - he directs in the right direction, liberating not only the body, but also the soul. He's doing great.

The short program of the season beats records, and Yuzuru’s score tend to be a hundred points. Ahead of Sochi.

@@@

Shoma gently slides out from under his palm, bows, and leaves to fetch water. Yuzuru thinks that nothing can be worse - he has been burning for the second chance, and quite obviously.

And yet he can not fully condemn himself. Because right now, for the first time in all the years, he is alone with Shoma. Just two of them. Of course, there are helpers propping them around, other people's hands are pawing, cameras are everywhere. But still, just two of them.

Neither Coach Higuchi, with whom Shoma has almost too intimate relationship - and that is annoying. Neither Itsuki, always ready to support Shomu, translate an interview for him or just entertain him with conversations - also annoying. Neither Satoko, for whom Shoma carries bags and saves chairs, which is ... yes, infuriating. Madly. 

Now they are alone. How could he resist?

@@@

Champion. Yuzuru is an Olympic champion. The record holder, the god of the rink, is what they call him now. Energy just gushes out of him, he feels relaxed, free and happy.

Life is getting better - now he has every chance to win gold. Last year he flew to fourth place, and now he claims all rights to gold, and this is already expected at the next championship. Yuzuru knows that he will remain the strongest in the entire current Olympic season.

Usually it happens differently. Skaters start picking up speed after the games, climb higher and higher all four years, conquering top for top, and at the next Olympic they will stand on top. He did it differently - from a rather unstable chick, Yuzuru instantly reincarnated into a wonderful swan. So the next Olympic gold may as well be givento him; you just need to keep the bar.

The 2015-2016 season greets him with a big surprise - a little man appears on the ice. The one he had been waiting for so long. Shoma Uno conquers the adult world, issuing a complex program from the start.

Javier, next to whom Yuzuru spends all his free time, immediately understands everything. He sees Shoma at the Grand Prix circuit, and then talks about him right at the rink.

\- This is the miracle child, who will kick our ass? He asks with a smile.

Not only him. A lot of talented guys have come out of his generation. It won’t be like Sochi for you where there was no competition, and there wasn’t, ” corrects Brian. “Jin Boyan and Nathan will also spoil your nerves.” So do not relax, keep the rhythm.

Yuzuru listens to him and thinks: Here it is. Finally, the boy grew. Finally, they begin to polish the same ice. He saw how Shoma conquered the pinnacles of juniors - how he became a world champion, how he repeatedly won national competitions. Progress is evident, and the triple axel is securely under his belt. 

It will be interesting. Jin Boyan and Nathan Chen does not interest him, which is not right. They are very serious guys.

@@@

The position of sempai has a lot of priviliges, and Yuzuru uses it to the full. So, even if Shoma doesn’t welcome something, he still has no choice but to endure. Yuzuru desperately catches his hands, pulls himself in the photographs.

Childhood years were too good. When Shoma was small, Yuzuru could coddle him as much as he liked. Yuzuru remembers how in his free time on the rinks and beyond they managed to have fun. In Japan, where figure skating has been erected practically in a cult, events are often held - open and closed. After his last junior championship, Yuzuru saw Shoma and other kids many times in the past. Though back then Shoma was embraced and buzzed around by every one in the surrounding.

Now it is only his privilege.

Perhaps it is just his imagination, but Shoma seems to freezes every time he feels someone else’s hand on his shoulder. Such a laconic guy, like Shoma, has no need for lengthy explanations and colorful words. He only needs a gesture to understand everything. Yuzuru was careless, and now everything is out in the open.

@@@

It’s all Javier’s fault.  
Yuzuru looks at seventeen-year-old Uno and already knows what he wants. This is bad and shameless, especially if you take into account how the object of his desire looks. Small enough to fit in a pocket, round cheeks, baby eyes, upturned nose and bitten lips. Lips, though… Dangerous to even think about. 

In his green suit, Shoma looks a bit silly. Should have chosen another color after all.  
But now Yuzuru is not alone. After all the sempai fled into professional at once, he remained alone for almost a year. Now he has an ally in the national team - a real stable rival. He knows this, others feel it.

And the crumbling leprechaun in a green suit embroidered with rhinestones and gold confidently fits into the top ten at the World Championships. With an imperfect performance, sure, but ...

Yuzuru himself is not up to par. Even the legendary "Seimei" could not save him from second place. For Shoma, mesmerizing "Turandot" also did not become a breakthrough debut. Two losers.

@@@

In the evening, Yuzuru enters the room, trying not to think about manager promising to settle them tomorrow. Two medalists, the most popular people in the country at the moment, living in the same bedroom is not good, apparently. Yuzuru thinks that they can and should sleep in one room, and even need it.

Too much of everything hangs over head. He will need to go through another course, patch up his leg, go to Toronto, walk the rink and get used to the idea that Javier will not be there now. There is so much to do, and time is running out. But first of all, ihe has to make sure that young Shoma understood everything correctly.

Shoma bustles around in the shower. His shoes are lying right next to the door, and on the bed is an open laptop, the screen of which has not yet gone out. His presence is felt in everything - in the warmth of the air, in the smell of his clothes, artistic disorder and the noise of water in the shower. Yuzuru goes to his bed, gently takes off his jacket, relaxes his shirt collar. His legs itch. Yuzuru wants to take on skates and run on any ice, even on a puddle frozen overnight, just to ride.

His eyes fall on the screen. In the muffled night light, the bluish shine from laptop stands out. Digital Maya Shibutani is looking at Yuzuru, hugging her dog.

And hell, he never knew that she was so beautiful. Maya Shibutani is beautiful. Dazzling. In ordinary life, she is much more beautiful than on the ice, where she constantly gets her hair slicked.  
Yuzuru shamelessly sits on the floor next to Shoma's bed, flipping through Maya's instagram. In each photo, she is simply flawless. Yuzuru knows how to take portraits. Those selfies are a masterpiece.

Yuzuru squeezes his lips in a line and viciously thinks that it would be better if they really had an incest. Then he catches himself at this thought and curses himself, marveling at how far down he would go under the influence of banal greed.

Shoma opened her instagram. What is next? Accepting their invitation?!? To hell with that!

@@@

Yuzuru witnessed Shoma crying after a bad rolling in his first senior year. In the second year - the season 2016-2017 - Shoma sets himself up differently. Both of them have new programs, and from the very first start Yuzuru understands how much this means.

Looking forward to the first outing to see the kind of costume Uno chose. Music he will skate to. A choreography. Wait, worry and guess. Crazy excitement, the one Yuzuru had never felt before.

There were no intrigues with Javier - the programs were born on the same ice, without mysteries. Yuzuru was the first to see Fernandez's new programs, listened to the compositions offered to choose from, and discussed elements of choreography. It was a kind of advantage - to know what was closed from others.

But with Shoma, everything was different. This boy, this peculiar thing, hid his cards before going out on the ice. His programs were born in Nagoya, where his permanent trainers worked. Shoma trains at home, and goes back to sleep in his own bed, nothing changes for years, and the birth of his new programs is only watched by children from the younger group. And those are an audience who will not tell anyone.

Yuzuru waits and wonders, enjoying every day of waiting. It was worth enduring.

And so, Shoma rolls out onto white ice in a black, tight-fitting suit with reddish flashes on his chest - shiny, matured, complete. Perfect proportions of the body, wide back, already familiar strong legs. Impossible movements - elastic, flexible, smooth. Passionate even. Astor Piazzolla’s music starts and Shoma transforms.

A dance of sharpness and precision. Extremely sharp, but precise movements. Turning the head, angling the face, lifting the shoulders, bending the back - everything is perfect. Shoma plays on ice, becoming a real macho - who are ready to conquer hearts under the Argentinian tango.

Yuzuru has Joe Hisaishi in store for this year, there are no problems with this program either. They are both ready for strong performance and victories. Let’s meet at the Worlds.

@@@

Shoma comes out with a towel on his shoulder and looks quizzically at Yuzuru, who has become silent at the computer.

“Yuzu-kun, what did you find there?” - he asks in the most usual tone.

“Will you go to Ann Arbor to Shibutani?” - without turning his head, asks Yuzuru.

\- I do not know. Even if I go, it is not very soon. After Milan, at least.

Well yes. World Cup is just around the corner, no time to waste. Same with Alex and Maya, too. Probably.

\- I did not ask when you’re going. I just asked if you would go. At all. Whenever it is.

Shoma sits down on his bed, and his knees are next to Yuzuru’s elbows, which he folded on the edge of the bed.

\- Maybe I'll go. In April, I am going to Chicago anyway. Jump training. Not only do you need new quads, the competition is great, but I’m not so sure of myself to leave everything as it is. I want to learn new ones.

\- Like a quad loop?

“Yes,” smiles Shoma. - You made it first, but I also really wanted, so I added it.

\- Loop was in your program. In that tango under piazzolla.

“It was in the current program, too,” Shoma admits with a sigh. - But in Pyeongchang I screwed up, fell right at the very beginning.

\- I did not see.

\- Good. I do not like to fall under your eyes.

\- Did not notice.

Shoma smiles shyly.

\- Yes, I generally hate to fall, like everyone. I just feel uncomfortable when you watch. And when you look at my computer, too, by the way.

Yuzuru, without any shame, moves the laptop and carries his finger across the field, “awakening” the extinguished screen.

“Maya is beautiful,” he says. - But speaks only English. How do you want to talk to her?

\- If I will, through Itsuki.

Also Itsuki. Just of whom Yuzuru should be jealous? Yuzuru rises from the floor and goes to the door.  
He, the living embodiment of male figure skating (as the press calls him), the subject of dream for millions of men and women, the idol of a whole generation and the only two-time Olympic champion in the last fifty years, the holder of all three records, is going to do something crazy. Because more can not be tolerated.

@@@

After the short program, Yuzuru is the fifth - this has not happened to him for a very long time. He is simply infuriated and cannot restrain himself. There is still time before free, but Yuzuru very much doubts that he can calm down just like that.

Shoma overtook him for a good five points, he is now the second after Javier. If this is what it means to be rivals, then Yuzuru does not like it. He would like to follow Shoma, so that it is interesting and tense, not fall behind by three positions. While berating his weakness, Yuzuru drinks cold water and looks in the mirror, trying to curb his anger.

Baby Boyang above him. Old Patrick is higher than him. And Shoma is also above him now. How is he gonna cover this gap and regain the faith in himself

Yuzuru restlessly sleeps all night, jumps up at four o'clock in the morning and sits in the cold until breakfast. Then goes to the balcony and polishes the back railings, not in the least afraid to tilt back and break. He is miserable, but he cannot see Shoma right now, because playing a caring Senpai will not work - you get an angry and twitchy Sempai.

He gathers himself together, and then takes a breath, long enough for free program - the most important one of the year. He goes to warm-up first and beats the world record, still not taking a breath. Music carries him, and blue-turquoise gloves stick to sweaty hands, and the audience roars so that they can not hear the last beats of the composition, and Yuzuru completes his program in triumph. 

He has a record. He knows that in two thousand seventeenth he will become a world champion. Became the champion.

Then his sides are propped up from two sides - Patrick, who was tormenting himself, and Boyang, who shot out very decently. On the ice, Shoma is doing magic, and his tango looks amazing like never before; he seems to have become even more passionate than at the beginning of the season.  
Yuzuru looks at his perfect silhouette, and thinks about what this impressive performance means. Did Shoma find someone who taught him the same lesson Javier did?  
He feels hot, and he wants one of them - Patrick or Boyang - to get away from him, because there is no air to breathe.  
Judging by the movements and intensity, Shoma definitely had a lesson. Of course, nineteen years old already.

Yuzuru applauds along with the others, reviews Shoma's jumping to slow-mo and swallows rage. This unknown lover, be it a man or a woman, Yuzuru wants to strangle with his own hands.

On the podium they stand nearby - Shoma gets silver. Yuzuru hugs him possessively around his waist and presses him to himself, without being embarrassed by the cameras. He has done this before, but now a different message is put into this gesture - known only to him.

He hugs Shomu endlessly, stretches his face, pats his cheeks and runs his fingers through his hair, showing the world that he has a right to do so. Fascinated by his success and not fully understanding what is happening around him, Shoma cannot interpret what the senpai does there.

@@@

Yuzuru locks the door, and Shoma watches him with undisguised surprise. A wet towel is already hanging on the back of the bed, and his wet hair lies in small arrows, falling over his eyes.

\- You are not gonna ask? Why I am doing this?

“I think I already know,” Shoma replies. - I just did not think so soon.

“I want to make sure that you understand me correctly,” moving away from the door, his heart exploding from the blood that has flown to him, whispers Yuzuru. “It won’t be just sex. It will be everything.”

“I can't do that,” Shoma says, lowering his eyelashes. “Too many uncertainty. A promise is just stupid. We are rivals on the ice, we must constantly say that we like girls, because popularity is important for work. You will leave for Toronto, Yuzu-kun. I will train in Nagoya. Last year, we met only six times in the whole season, and competed once in six months.

\- Now it will be different.

Shoma straightens his back and looks at the opposite wall.

\- How? What will change?

\- Absolutely everything, just say that you want it.

Everything depends on Shoma’s answer. Yuzuru wants to steal him away from everyone, but that will never work out. Not in this life for sure.

@@@

A video call allows you to talk face to face even across the ocean. Wonderful, fun and exciting.

\- Will you recycle an old program?

\- Yes. They say that you can go in olympic year.

\- Which one?

\- Turandot. And you, Yuzu-kun?

\- Same. "Seimei."

Both programs from the season 2015-2016. Unsuccessful programs - for Yuzu, second place was another defeat. Shoma ended up in tears.

But they both disagree with this, and believe that Turandot and Seimas deserve more. Without saying a word, they return programs of the same year, guided by the same thought. Celebrating the year of their meeting in the senior league. Aiming for Olympic medals. Giving themselves another chance.

Yuzu launches Puccini's opera in headphones and recalls how a boy in green conquered the halls to this music. He does not know that at the other end of the world, Shoma adds “Seimei” to his playlist and listens to it all night long.

@@@

Shoma does not promise anything, but agrees to everything. And Yuzuru takes him to himself, forgetting that he will soon fly away to other side of the Pacific Ocean. Everything is possible this evening. And a night, too.


	2. Test flight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "You know me since childhood, and you know that I am worse than any tick. Once I grab it, I can only be torn away by breaking my teeth. You won’t break me, will you?
> 
> "I will not."

Discipline is above all. Even on the verge of clutching his dream, Yuzuru glances at his watch, counting the hours they have left. Shoma would need to sleep, otherwise tomorrow he will be nodding all day long.

Shoma looks at his tightly bound hands and is silent, torturing his lower lip between his teeth. His eyelashes are trembling, he clearly does not know where to put himself, because ...

It dawns on Yuzuru. Has Shoma ever been with a guy? Or was it never at all with anyone? What does it mean?

“I would like everything to be decent, but there is no time now. As you said, we will soon scatter,” admits Yuzuru, sitting down on the bed next to Shoma. “We cannot put a pause on our life. We constantly fly on airplanes, injure ourselves during trainings, experience stress in competitions. Our life is fragile, I do not want waste it.”

“Yours will not be wasted,” Shoma says in a whisper. “Few people can say that life was wasted when the whole world loves them. You have traveled half the world, you have millions of fans, fame, recognition, achievements.”

“You're not greedy, you don't understand,” Yuzuru interrupts. “I have everything, but I need more.”

“Me?”, specifies Shoma. “If so, I am all yours, too.”

“Mine? You divide yourself among dozens of people, dedicate half to Itsuki, and tear the rest into pieces and hand to everyone.”

Shoma compresses his lips and sniffs discontentedly.

“You are a champion, right? You give all without holding back. Never takes half measures? "Whoever wins, I will also take gold." That’s what you said.”

"I'm taking you. Right now."

Apparently, Shoma is beyond his power to believe in the reality of this conversation. He clenches his teeth. Then he takes a breath and gives out:

"Itsuki grew up before my eyes, I only believed him for a while. I trust him - even more than my parents, more than Higuchi-san. I will give you everything, but do not bring Itsuki into this. I will not give him up. Even for you."

“Then give me everything you can’t give to him.”

Yuzuru never ever imagined that he would need to share a person he loved with someone else. But he agrees to this time. After all, Shoma is not just a beautiful body and sweet face. He is a character composed of years of relationships. So Itsuki, one might say, was one of those who fashioned Shoma the way Yuzuru loves him.

“I ... I have never been with a man,” says Shoma, barely audible. “So I hardly come in handy as a lover.”

Yuzuru straightens and turns to him.

“And you don’t need to do anything,” he whispers, pulling Shoma to himself. “Nothing at all, just do not refuse me.”

Yes, he is the youngest son - he was spoiled with attention. He is favored by the public, generously endowed with judges. But he has nothing that he doesn’t deserve. All that he has, he gnawed with his teeth, scratched, breaking off his nails. Therefore, what he has, Yuzuru will never give up.

“I don’t want to be a trophy,” says Shoma at the last moment, before being on his back. “I don't want to be a medal on the shelf of your glory rack. What am I getting into now?"

Yuzuru rests on top, and there is nothing intimate about it - they have already lounged on each other a thousand times during trainings, rehearsals, or jokes.

“You won’t become a trophy,” Yuzuru promises. “You will become ... a Trophy husband, I guess."

Shoma laughs, clearly embarrassed by such words.

"That is unlikely."

“You don't understand,” says Yuzuru, removing the Shoma's bang to the top and opening his face. “In English, there is a word “Trophy wife”. Women you get as a reward. To marry someone like that is worth a lifetime. You know me since childhood, and you know that I am worse than any tick. Once I grab it, I can only be torn away by breaking my teeth. You won’t break me, will you?

"I will not".

“Listen,” leaning toward him and touching Shoma lips with his, Yuzuru exhales wet and hot.   
“Listen, Shoma. I am jealous of all the titles that I could not get, although I fought for them. But I will not be jealous of you. You stand on the podium with a medal on your neck. Why would I need a piece of iron when you are mine?"

"Like with Javier?"

“No. With Javier, things were different. If you want to know, I'll tell you later. But I think, once we are done, you will fall asleep as if dead. You will not be in a hurry to listen.”

“I want to sleep now.”

“I can fix that.”

“You're so sure of yourself.”

“Would I be the Yuzuru Hanyu you know otherwise?”

“Well ... well, t-try,” Shoma suggests with a touchingly frightened hesitation.

No need to ask again.

Did he dream about it before? Of course. It all began when Shoma was too small to imagine him in bed, but after he moved to the big league, everything became much more serious.

Yuzuru kisses his bitten lips, still not fully understanding that he is getting what he has been pursuing for the last three years. He has not yet accommodated this thought. Does not realize that what is in his embrace could have have been easily lost. Right now, during this conversation.   
Shoma could have wriggled out and sneaked away, or closed up like a hundred locks with steel straps. He could have done anything, breaking all Yuzuru' dreams and feelings, trampling on his hopes let alone a heart.   
In this conversation, where everything was at stake, perfectly landed jumps or the famous Bielmann would not have saved him. Everything depended on words, which Yuzuru never practiced.

Dry, cool skin with elastic muscles playing under drives him crazy. Yuzuru does not know how to embrace everything, how to take it all at once. He is like a man who has not been fed for a whole week, and then seated at a full table.

It is difficult, but pleasant. Slide your hands over the body, tear off the knit shirt, listening to the crack of thread stitches. Reveal the coveted body and apply your lips wherever possible, without discerning where kisses fall - this body is dear all in all, he wants to caress it in all places. However, Shoma is full of surprises. Yuzuru thought that he was blown off the roof when Shoma’s sweater fell. He is wrong. He blows off the roof when strong hands push him for a second, and then pull his shirt off his head, tearing off the top button.

To covet and be coveted in return.

It's not at all like with his previous lovers and mistresses, who were few in a number, none of whom lingered. He doesn’t want to take anything from Shoma, doesn’t want to steal. He wants to give everything away. If Shoma accepts. 

“I want it too,” Shoma says, almost offended, lifting himself up and pulling up for a kiss. “Do not be like that.”

First sex is not perfect. To get there, you need to know each other for some time. Friendship since kindergarten doesn’t count, because body is not a soul. Only souls can be united long distance. 

That’s why they don’t click at the first time. Shoma is offended because Yuzuru does not allow him to seize the initiative. And Yuzu, even knowing his selfishness, cannot back down because the brakes have failed.

Troublesome trousers are pushed off to the ankles. Then they have to laugh because Shoma gets entangled in his trousers trying to whip them away, while Yuzuru accidentally pinches the skin on his palm with a buckle belt. But these are trifles, it does not matter, because all of this is gaps, not the point.

The bottom line is that it is warm, gentle and pleasant. This feeling originates between them and, melted by their passion, spreads over the skin, flowing from body to body. It is mixed with a chill of fear emanating from Shoma, but this does not make it weaker.

“Do you know how it happens?”asks Yuzuru, for a second looking up from Shoma’s neck. “You know what I have to do now?”

Shoma nods, and his cheeks flare bright scarlet.

“But I never did that,” he says. “I did not think I would have to.”

“You thought you were into girls?”, clutching his ass with his hands, asks Yuzuru.

“I was only with girls, what else would I think?”.

“From now on no girls, either. Only me. I will teach you everything.”

“So, at least two run throughs per night?” turning away, smiles Shoma.

“Idiot,” Yuzuru snorts, letting go of him to get a condom out of his pocket. “Just do not talk about skating now.”

“Do you always carry condoms with you?”

“Only when I spend the night with you,” Yuzuru jokes back.

“And when…”

Shoma does not have time to ask more. A finger pressed to him in the most terrible, probably, place, knocks all thoughts completely out of his head. Yuzuru understands him perfectly - he himself was once in the same shock and even wanted to break Javier’s finger for such maneuvers. Now he is older and more experienced. Some things, although unpleasant at first, can make Shoma's hair stand on entire length and even straighten out at the ends.

 

Shoma bites his lip and squeezes his eyes from strange sensations. He probably finds something terrible in this, because he prefers not to open his eyes at all, even when Yuzuru tries to distract him with kisses, and then asks to look at him.

“Yuzu-kun,” Shoma groans, his brows pained. “Maybe enough foreplay?”

“Not yet,” smiles Yuzuru. 

It is much more than ordinary sex, in which everyone wants to achieve only one thing - to reach orgasm, then relax and fall asleep with a calmed hormonal background. With Shoma, everything is different. You want not only to fuck him, but to take him completely, completely and completely, so that after everything you don’t regret anything. On the other hand, it won't work out anyway. No matter how much Yuzuru catches him, something still manages to slip away. Shoma is too much, not to be covered at once. Plus, Yuzuru’s patience is not an iron.

Perhaps Shoma continues to feel a little offended because Yuzuru is so greedy and does not allow Shoma to touch. Shoma lies still, his eyes closed, breathing through his slightly weathered lips.

“You are beautiful,” leaning toward him and kissing the tip of his nose, whispers Yuzuru.

Shoma shakes his head. He does not like being decsribed that way.

“If anyone is beautiful here, it’s definitely not me,” he says with difficulty, losing his voice by the second and pausing with his lips parted.

“Do not worry, the room is sound-proof. Make me happy.”

“I can not.”

Yes, he can.  
In the life of a champion, everywhere, you need to be the first and best, everywhere you need to pick out the most important thing and pull out exactly what you want, nothing less. Yuzuru is like that now - he wants to hear a moan, and he knows what to do. It is easier than ever, Shoma is inexperienced and clean. If he has only been with girls, then he probably knows nothing about what sensations can be obtained from the inside, not from the outside.

When Yuzuru touches the very place with a pad of his finger that he himself wouldn’t have guessed without help, Shoma’s eyes open wide, without holding back a surprised moan.

“Found it,” Yuzuru smiles triumphantly. “Gotcha.”

Shoma's face is open. In the last year, Shoma purposely arranged a crow's nest on his head, closing his facial features. Yuzuru did not like that. Although, if Yuzuru is the only one who gets to see Shoma’s face wide open, that’s good, too. Let the others see only what Shoma reveals of himself, which is very little.

Time to take care of himself. Yuzuru stops torturing Shoma with his fingers and opens the shiny condom package.

His hands are free. Now he can hug Shomu tighter, press him close and hold him down so that he will not break free. Because Yuzuru knows from his own experience that now Shoma will not be very comfortable.

To his surprise, Shoma does not even twitch when he enters almost half.

“How are you?” stopping and letting him take a break, asks Yuzuru, fearing this calm.

“Go on,” Shoma nods and squeezes his hips.

Perhaps this is the last frontier - only madness goes on. The madness forces them to grow together, almost merge, catch wet exhalations and slide their lips over the skin. They clutch at their sides, biting shoulders. Red marks and bruises. 

Yuzuru wants to say that he will put a tag on Shoma for the rest of his life. He wants to threaten that he will tire him to death. He wants to admit that he is happier that he had ever been. Wants to…

Yet no words. Language do not come, because it is too good.

At some point, Shoma slightly pulls back and throws his head back, resting on the pillow and biting his lip for the umpteenth time. For, Yuzuru everything is still not enough. He wraps his hand around Shoma’s length, noting with pleasure that Shoma’s body certainly does not lie.

Probably, everything was too rushed. There was no recognition, no normal conversation, and no preliminary kisses either. But there is much more. Trust, built up over the years, allows them to merge into one even now, the very first time. When time comes to share the pleasure for two, multiplying it many times, Yuzuru presses Shoma's face against his chest and feels his heart pounding wildly. Muscles in the lower abdomen contract and the flesh in his hand pulses. In the depths, heat pours.  
For a moment, the world distills into a breath between their lips.   
Yuzuru does not pull out. He just lies on Shoma, not thinking about anything, not moving.   
After a strong orgasm, there had always been a sense of desolation. But right now, Yuzuru is at peace. Full zen. Complete harmony.  
Over time, the ringing silence in his head is dispersed by sounds — his own breathing, the beating of the beloved's heart. Thoughts fill the mind, and Yuzuru, not fully aware of what happened now, rises to allow Shoma to breathe normally.

“Sorry,” without making a sound, but with lips articulating, he says. “Did it hurt?”

Shoma looks at him, his eyes still far away, and smiles.

“I could do it for all night."

Yuzuru laughs and falls back. This is happiness.

“Let’s meet five days each month,” he asks. “That is enough for us to jump to the moon and come back.”

“A week,” says Shoma, placing his palms on Yuzuru’s back and caressing his shoulder blades. “We will work on the flight schedule.”

Warm hands are lulling Yuzuru. They can go to the shower tomorrow. In the meantime, it is enough to release, finally, Shoma from his invasion. Just hold him in his arms and sleep.

In the end, this is the last time they would be cramped in one bed.


End file.
